Saturday, December 14, 2013

Prostitution

So let me start with, I've been up since 5:20 on my day to sleep in. Why? Well, who wouldn't want to catch 'Late Night Gifts' on QVC. No, but really....

My day yesterday was one big cluster. I was supposed to drop off the girls at the babysitter, go to a meeting at work, and then get things done. Lots of thing. Great plan, only it required me to actually put their bag in my car instead of leaving it in the garage. So I showed up to the babysitter (who is 1/2 hr away) with no diapers, no lunch, no milk for the baby. Needless to say I picked them up after my meeting and got nothing accomplished.

We were supposed to go to the mall last night and see Santa. In my brain this meant my husband would be home by 5:30, we'd be at the mall by 6, and we'd miss the big line because all the responsible parents would be feeding their children dinner. Well, said husband didn't quite get that memo from my brain, so by the time we got to the mall there was a really long line. He acted shocked like he expected us to be the only other people at the mall, 2 Fridays before Xmas. His statement was "No way. If we wait in this line in and Lil doesn't get on Santa's lap I'm going to kill her. In front of all of these people. That won't be good."

And so we left. By this point it was 7:00 and we hadn't eaten yet. So obviously he had the great idea of not eating right there in the food court, but going to a diner by our house. So, 7:30 we sat down to eat dinner. (with a 2 year old who had lunch at 11:30)

Dinner was actually pretty good. When it was time to go N went up to pay and ordered me a GIANT piece of chocolate cake to go.

After eating the cake he insinuated that maybe after he did that nice thing for me I would want to do something 'nice' for him. Um...did you just prepay for sex with chocolate cake?

Friday, December 6, 2013

ELVES

The plural of elf is elves. NOT elf's.

Elf's is used when something belongs to a single elf: Look at that elf's hat. 

Elves is more than one elf: There are three elves running around outside. 

Who made this mistake? My trashy visitor. She captioned a photo "My two favorite elf's." Ugh. 

Thursday, December 5, 2013

I am THAT blogger

There is nothing that I hate more (okay, I'm totally exaggerating) than when I go to check one of my favorite blogs and it hasn't been updated in awhile. Welp, I'm guilty as charged. I apologize.

What you've missed:

*Visitors- My sister, her boyfriend, and his dog came on Tuesday night and stayed through Sunday.Usually my sister comes, says hi, and runs errands for days (because there are no stores in Washington, DC). This time she made a point to spent time with the kids. It was really nice. We also asked her to be baby C's Godmother (she is L's Godmother, as well). I was really sad to see them go back on Sunday.

*Thanksgiving- We had a really laid back day, and it was great. We went to my grandparents' for dinner and on the way home N and I discussed that the goal of a holiday is to forget we have children- meaning, there are other people to take care of our kids and we can just relax. My grandparents' house is as close as we will ever come to that. We calculated 3 sets of people to entertain the children before they get to us.

*Shopping- I was 'those' people and went shopping on Thanksgiving night. I didn't rush my family time and just went out after L went to bed. It was great. I was home by 11, in bed by 12, and I had all of Friday to hang out. My sister and I cheated the system at Kohl's and we skipped the 45 minute line and just checked out at Customer Service- apparently you can check out there and no one else knew! Score. I came home and ordered the rest of my shopping list on Amazon.

*Stress- N's job is not going well....and I think that's an understatement. So I'm preparing to go back to work and he's preparing to look for a job. This doesn't bother me, but he gets super stressed and doesn't handle it well. 

Okay...nothing really exciting, but now you're caught up. I promise I'll be better now.

PS. Is anyone watching "The Sound of Music" with Carrie Underwood? I want to be Carrie Underwood. 

Tuesday, November 26, 2013

You Know Dasher and Dancer....

The FedEx man was just here. He was acting funny, but I chalked it up to the rain and the extra packages he's delivering due to the holidays.

And then, a half hour later, L asked me to give her reindeer back.

Monday, November 25, 2013

Weekend in Review

So this was the first weekend it really felt like winter- and it sucked.

Saturday we got up and went to the Please Touch Museum. Have you been there? It's freaking awesome. It's all kinds of little play rooms and the kids just play and pretend. L had a great time and Baby C was actually very cooperative.

Saturday night my in-laws came over- you can imagine how much fun that was. My MIL insists on using a super high-pitched voice when speaking to the children. She had Baby C crying in the first 30 seconds she was in my house. N even said, "Yo Mom, cool it with that voice." to which she responded "They like it." Um. NO. They do not like their ear drums feeling like they are going to shatter. And I do not like it. And your husband does not like it. And your son does not like it. WE do NOT like it. So cool it with that high-pitched voice, or just stay outside.

Another thing. Now, I know that my children are the most beautiful children on the planet. Really. They are. However, there are times to take pictures and there are times when having your camera in someone's face in just annoying.

A holiday- normal.
Eating dinner on Sunday- annoying.
A birthday party- normal.
While I'm cleaning L's face- annoying.



It's weird to me that MIL brings her camera to my house every time she comes over, but honestly, it is terribly annoying to have my picture taken when I'm wearing no makeup, wearing sweat pants, and eating dinner. She is the type of person who takes pictures of everything, but they're not good pictures. When she got back from her vacation to Alaska a few months ago she sat us down to show us over 300 pictures. There were only people in 7 of them- I counted. I just don't get the point.

Oh well. This is Thanksgiving week and I will be thankful. (and I will eat :) )

Friday, November 22, 2013

Trash in her Blood

So the other day I mentioned that I had a surprise visitor. It was N's cousin's girlfriend. I have been stewing about her all week, and now I'm ready to vent. This is MY blog, so I'm allowed to be judgy, right?
 
So 'Cousin Kyle' and Nolan have always been really close and we were very close with his ex-fiancé. They broke up, which is fine, but within a few weeks he had moved in with this new girlfriend. Not a big deal when you're a grown up- do your thing. BUT, there's more that makes me judge.
 
1. Her hair is maroon. It looks stringy, long, and maroon.
2. She says 'yous', 'crowns' (instead of crayons) and other North Philly words. NOTHING against anyone from Northern Philadelphia, but the rest of the country does not speak like that.
3. She let a guy she just met move into her house with her and her 4 year old son without really knowing him.
4. Sunday morning she got ready for an hour and a half before coming downstairs. I made breakfast when I knew she was awake. Needless to say breakfast was cold when we finally ate.
5. She was joking about having to take pregnancy tests a lot. Um...one kid by accident- sure- but didn't you learn a lesson? Um...it's not a joke when you're a grown up.
 
#3 is the one that I really can't handle. Now I understand that she is from a very broken family situation and doesn't really know what stability looks like, but I just can't be okay with this. She lives with her grandparents and her son, but she let Kyle move right in. When they dated for a few weeks he lived about 2 1/2 hours away from her so even when they saw each other it wasn't a normal dating situation- he slept over. I don't have experience introducing my child to my boyfriend, but I know that if I was in that situation I would not have someone around my child until I was very, very sure that was someone who was going to be around for a long time.
 
And what kind of people are these grandparents of hers? It's great that they let their granddaughter and her son move in with them. But who lets the granddaughter's new boyfriend move right in? I know Kyle well and he is a great guy, but they don't know that!

Now you're thinking- what about Kyle's responsibility? Yeh, tell me about it. Monday night I spent 20 minutes telling Nolan what an awful person Kyle is now. In order to get the job he has he needed to have an address in the town where they live- I get that, but there are cheap apartments wherever you are. I just have such a problem with moving someone in with a child.

Nolan assured me there's not a shot in hell they'll stay together, but honestly I'm afraid she's going to try to get knocked up. She's that kind of trashy.

Thursday, November 21, 2013

Christmas Shopping

I LOVE Christmas Shopping. Honestly, I love giving gifts, period. I put a lot of thought into what I buy.

This year I'm having an awful time figuring out what to buy for Baby C. Everything she needs- we have. Every toy she'll use in the next year- we have. And I HATE the idea of bringing more toys into this house. She doesn't need clothes because she's the same size in the same seasons as L.

Also, I have everything picked out an in my Amazon and Target carts. But I want to wait for Black Friday and see if I can get better sale prices. Also, I think I'm going to get Amazon Prime just so when I order my stuff it comes right away. I am very impatient when I order something and it takes days to come.

I also have no idea what to get my grandmother. She. has. everything. I could go with a gift card, but while I LOVE getting gift cards, I really don't like giving them. I love hunting for a present and seeing the person love what I picked out.

I am very pleased with my first purchase. I got my sister a Keurig- and I got it for $60. That's half price, people. Score.

Well, I'm addicted to my Black Friday app and it just told me that Amazon's ad came out- so I'm going to spend some time looking at those things and hopefully an idea will just pop into my head.